Sunday, June 17, 2012

Daily Write - Experimental Reaction

I guess I was supposed to be angry. My nostrils were supposed to flare and I was to succumb to a deluge of rage. I guess was supposed to scream so loud that my veins would show and my skin would change colors. That would be a normal reaction. That would be the expected reaction. How else would a person handle the fact that their life had only served as someone else's play thing and everything previous was scrubbed away?

However, I found myself doing none of those things. There was no reaction, actually. There was no insurmountable rise of emotion within me whatsoever. No questions being posed in my mind as I am given the reply of what my life had been like before the day I woke up. It was like staring at the life of a stranger whose only similarity was that they had my face. And then being told the stranger was not one at all. It was in fact me. Me before I was chosen.

I have no memory of this life I had been told I once lived. A lasting effect of the experiments they explain. To prevent me for having a reason to leave the Facility and go searching. It is probably the same reason I cannot make myself feel anything about this situation.

I felt more like a ghost, haunting a dream, drifting through the surrealism that was pictures of me with a family. Mother, father, even a puppy. Very odd, seeing how I'm not sure I like dogs. From what I could tell, I was normal once. Normal and happy.

I don't wonder where they are now, the people in these pictures. Or how long it has been since I last laid eyes on them. They are strangers, just like the person who shares my face. I have no more connection to them than anyone else I would pass in the street. I have no longing or wish to have any of those memories back. What good would they serve me?

No, there is no anger. Everything that happened to me before I was awoken was taken and I can never get it back. I have been one man's experiment, quite a successful experiment at that. I could not become the person in the pictures again if I wanted. I suppose the only thing I feel now is broken. Broken and unattached.

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