The End of 2011

So another year is on it's way out. Feels like time just keeps flying. I can honestly say that 2011 has been quite the rollercoaster ride. It started with me at my worst and then slowly climbing up to one of the best days I have had in quite some time. I made friends with people that I never expected. I achieved the goal that I set out to do at the beginning of the year. And that was to finally take some of those projects I had set on the back burner and start doing them. Looking back, I feel like things have come about full circle and ended this year in a much better place than what I started it in.

I'm still not making an huge resolutions this year. I feel like just by doing that, I have already set myself up to fail. Instead, like last year, I have a list of goals. Goals that I have had for quite some time, just never made them priorities. I find that to be a simpler way for me to get things done. Some how whenever I add fanfare and pomp and declare to the world what I have set out to do, I fall short. However, when I just get up and do something, it's more likely to get done. *shrugs* I don't understand it either. I have just decided not to fight it. So let's get this done in 2012.

I do have to say that I got a lot of inspiration from a person who goes by the name EdeMonster, the Healthy Gamer. He has just about every social network available, so if you are reading this, then you should go and look him up. Anyway, he decided about a year ago that he was going to get himself in shape. And he has his before and after pictures. Honestly, it looks like two different people.It was quite impressive to look at. I think I am ready for that to be me. To wake up and decide, "yeah, let's get to this for real." because let's face it, I'm not going to ever have free time in my life ever again. Might as well figure out how to spin these plates the best I can.

If I am tired of the way something is, the only answer is to change whatever bugs me to what I want it to be. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that what I am purposing to do is going to be any small feat. That would be stupid of me. However, I know that simply standing still and wishing is just as daft. So my goal for 2012: To change. To continue what was started in 2011 and become more.

So how do I feel about 2011? I feel good. I crossed a good number of milestones, enough to be satisfied with and proud of. How do I feel about 2012? I've got things to do, things to accomplish, projects to finish. I'm ready to get it started.

Leaving a Legacy Behind

People talk about leaving a legacy behind, but do any of us really know how to do that? Do any of us really believe that we, as one person, can cause such an impact that our fingerprint will be left on the world for years after we have left it? Or are people largely like me, thinking that those who have made a legacy for themselves are larger than life and we could never hope to do something as great. I suppose a bit of that kind of thinking changed for me right before Thanksgiving.

It changed because of a single woman named, Dr. Pamela Williams, MD. She wasn't on the national news. She didn't invent a new surgical technique. There is no equation that is going to be named after her. But the ripples of the legacy that she left behind will be felt for years to come, even though the people who are benefiting may not even know it.

There were many of us out there. Us meaning students who medical school was beating up and we had given up. Given up on everything. We were ready to pack it up and call it quits. And in many other institutions, the administration would have called it quits on us too. But Dr. Williams saw more than numbers. She saw us. She saw potential. And as long as we had enough in us to continue on, she would do everything in her power to make sure that we reached our dreams of being a physician. How many of us would not have made it across that line, had it not been for this woman? I shudder to think.

Two days before Thanksgiving, Dr. Williams passed away from breast cancer. The entire school reeled. She had been our bright beacon of hope. Sitting in that chair, telling us that we could do it. Telling us that she believed in us and was invested in seeing us succeed. She made you want to make her proud. Ever since last March, I had been planning what I was going to say to her when I finally walked across the stage. But now, I won't get to tell her. It would have gone something like:

Dean Williams, I can't tell you how much you believing in me helped to get me to this point. When we first met, you told me that you were invested in seeing me get across the stage. Honestly, I thought you were full of it. I didn't think that anyone in your position would care that much about one student. But you proved me wrong. You proved me wrong on numerous occasions. You were strong when I wasn't. You had enough belief in my abilities to carry the both of us. You and your staff are the main reason that I am standing up here, realizing the dream that I have worked so long for. There are no words to express my gratitude. I promise to make you proud of me.

There are many like me. Those who would not have made it if not for her. People who would have not been cared for, because we weren't there to fill that role as a physician. Lives that we would have not been able to change if it had not been for that woman.

That is the type of legacy I wish to leave when I am gone from this world. People don't have to know my name. They don't have to know my face. But if something I started expands beyond me and touches lives of thousands, then that is something that I can be proud of doing. So that is what I have set myself out to do now, somehow, in some way. Dean Williams, I am going to make you proud of me.