Extrovert Again?

So I would have to say that I describe myself as pretty extroverted. At least I used to be anyway. I was that girl who could chat it up with everyone. I was a no holds barred, full tilt type of person. Of course I had to get to know the person first before they got the full dose of my personality. People who had just met me would describe me as quiet, calm and to myself. My friends knew a whole lot better.

However, the past few years have caused all of that to do a complete 180. I don't think anyone who knows me would describe me as outgoing at all. In fact, I don't know there is anyone around me now who knows me well enough to describe me at all. (Outside of you, Legacy, if you are reading this). I just made myself okay with the huge change. Just adapted and moved on with life. Until just recently.

I found out last summer that when a person becomes stressed, they start acting in ways that is opposite of their natural personality. So if you are naturally an extroverted person, high stress will cause you to withdraw and become introverted. And my life has pretty much been a pressure cooker for years now. I had no idea that I was simply reacting to stress when I decided to hide myself away from the world. (I usually don't know when I'm stressed out until I finally crack and burst into tears). I had just accepted this as a new way of life. I was just going to be that person drifting in and out of the background. I would have to be okay with that. But slowly, those things started changing, and I'm not sure why.

It's like one day I woke up and decided, "I think I will talk to someone and make a joke." I made that joke and the person laughed at it. Then I decided to chat it up with another student that was working in the same place as me. Then a nurse and the list continues. It was like I could see my old extroverted self finally coming back. My old personality finally stepping out into the public eye and waving at everyone. Honestly, it felt good. It felt really really good. Let's see how long I am going to ride this wave.

Doing everything but...

So it is that time again. Time where I engage in everything except for what I am actually supposed to be doing. It is like my brain went on vacation and has not decided when it wants to come back. Actually it has decided, and that time is NEVER. My brain is literally taken over by things that shouldn't rank so high in priority right now. All I can really think about is the many creative ventures that I have picked up over the years. I want to write. I want to draw. I want to read books. I want to do everything except study and focus on being a med student. You would think that would be of some importance to me. But no, somehow improving my art skills and penning my next short story just seem way more important.

I think if I put myself back on some semblance of a schedule, I could actually get work done and some of my creative stuff done too. But that goes back to my brain being on vacation. And I'm talking, it has peaced out for real. Most days, I don't leave my bedroom. I sleep here. I read here. I brainstorm here. Why leave it? When my alarm goes off, I feel no urge to actually get up. The thing rings, I cut it off and simply roll over.

But yeah, I need to get back into some kind of routine. While I am greatly enjoying the amount of time that I have had off from not having to study, I need to jump back into it. I was super efficient back in the days of hard core study mode, all day, every day. While I don't really need to break my neck like that, I do need to at least go half way.

Speaking of creative things that I am doing, I just finished up a banner for this blog to use as a siggy. For a banner, I think it looks spiffy. The text is boring, but I will do a better job next time.