Not really

It doesn't matter how many words I put on this page.
I can never rid myself of it all.
Not really.

You are still in there.
Somehow.
Like an addiction I don't want to get away from.
Not really.

Embracing Fire

I wanted to become cold. Become ice
Walk away. Shut everything out.
I didn't want to feel any more. Feel this any more.
Just wanted the ever present numbness 
As I pushed away the world.

But that feeling never came.
The cold never embraced me 
And I never embraced it.
Instead, the exact opposite

All eyes on me as the heat rise
Refusing to fade, refusing to crawl into darkness
Blinding, fearsome flames 
I can do nothing but burn
And everyone must pay attention

Those who walked away
Those who forgot
Those who ignored
Those who took for granted

I cannot become cold
I cannot retreat
I cannot hide
For you, I will embrace the fire.
Watch me burn. Burn it all down.