Monday, February 25, 2013

So, I went indoor rock wall climbing...

So this past weekend I did something I never thought I would ever do. I went indoor rock wall climbing. I wish I could say that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I honestly want to say that. However, I wouldn't exactly use those words. When the idea was first presented, I thought it would be a fun thing to do. It was definitely out of my comfort zone and probably something that I wouldn't be asked to do again for some time. So I thought to myself "why not? Sounds like fun. Let's be adventurous."

Well, the closer it got to the actual day, the less like fun it sounded. In fact, the night before, I had already settled in my mind that I wasn't going to show up. What could I possibly have been thinking? I'm not Spiderman. What the devil was I thinking about, going off and trying to scale walls. Bump that. I am staying home, on the ground, where it is safe. But after talking to my family, they convinced me to go and at least try it. And then call them afterwards.

So, my mounting concern was not helped at all by the fact that I got lost and was late getting to the place. And then when I finally got there, the guy who "taught" me how to put on my harness inspired next to no confidence whatsoever. I wasn't entirely sure that he wasn't high. And went over all the straps and buckles so quickly, I wondered if he understood that I didn't know what I was doing and this series of straps around my body was the difference in me driving myself home versus leaving pieces of myself on their gravel. 

So when it was finally time for me to climb this wall, I was a little more than a bit nervous. I wish I could tell you that I put my mind to it and scaled that wall with no problems. Or that I made it to the top with a little coaxing from my friends at the bottom. Nope, that is not what happened. I was about two steps away from the top and freaked out. I mean, panic addled mind freak out. The only thing I could think about was getting down before I fell and broke something. I don't know how to explain it. Everything was going fine and then suddenly...everything was not fine. And your brain is screaming that at you. The hand holds are suddenly smaller and shallower. You aren't exactly sure where to put your feet. And then a voice in the back of your mind goes "Nope, we're done here."

I hate not finishing what I start. And I had determined that before the day was over, I was going to scale to the top of something. Unfortunately, each attempt I had came to the same ending where I freaked out before reaching the top. I tried to tell myself that it was mind over matter thing and that I was fine. But my body responded with my heart pounding in my chest as if it was signalling in morse code "We are not fine!".

At the end of the day, I'm glad I went. This is definitely something that I am proud of myself for doing. Can't say that I'm rushing back to try it again though. Ya'll can keep that. Also, there is video of this whole ordeal. And against my better judgment, I will be putting it out there soon enough for all to see.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Sketching!

So once upon a time, I spent a lot of my time world building for roleplaying forum that I belonged to. That forum has long since gone the way of many before it, falling silent and nothing left of it but thoughts of the good times. But all that world building and thought process that I had hammered out did not go anywhere. It just got stacked up with all the rest of the writing ideas that I have and put in the corner, waiting until I come back and look at it again.

Well it seems that those ideas are starting to surface again, but this time more as visual art than being put down in written form. Most of the time when I sit down to sketch something, I can never really think of anything to sketch. Then I decided, "Why not draw something that I have written about.". This brought up something interesting. Most of the time, if someone asks me, I usually tell them that I don't "see" anything when I write or read. Some people have very vivid imaginations and a movie is playing in their brains as the story unfolds. Not me, not really. Probably the reason I never really get my tailfeathers ruffled when movies are adapted to look similar to scenes from books I read. So now how I was supposed to draw what I wanted?

Slowly, this became an exercise in how do you artistically represent words. How do you draw certain emotions? What colors best gave the feel of what I was after. Usually I just missed the mark or decided that I didn't feel like trying to figure it out. But I know that I want draw something that represents what I have written, this is probably something that I need to work on.

So back around to what I have drawn recently, I am working on faces. I feel like if I can build on the generic faces that I have been drawing and add some character to them, it should help out a lot. Faces are probably one of the easier ways to show emotion. I drew a couple tonight. I believe them to be, not bad. It's also kind of cool to see actual faces when normally I don't see any.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

More Late Night Ramblings

As I have gotten older, I have found myself more involved in playing video games and being part of gaming communities. I think I am going backwards, because usually you are supposed to do stuff like this when you are younger. At least that is what I have always been led to believe.

Anyway, I have started to accumulate a good number of games (for better or for worse) both for PC and console. And now this has presented a new situation; playing with other people online. Now, I am not really a stranger to that, because I played WoW for years. I'm very used to raiding, PvPing, talking on Vent and all of that. But for some reason, I find myself not being as active when it comes to online play as I used to be. Especially when it comes to console games. That darn controller is the bane of my existence and I really rather not have my stumbling around scrutinized by other folks who are more advanced that I am.

And then there are some games where I just don't want to play with certain people. *cough* League of Legends *cough*. Honestly, I would rather just play with random people in the kiddie pool section of the game with beginner bots. I don't have to talk, get on Skype or anything like that. Just log in, punch at some pixels and go on my merry way.

Not sure when I got so introverted about online gaming. This definitely wouldn't have been the way I handled things several years. My God, I was all about meeting new people over the internet and becoming buddies. Now, I don't know. I don't mind making friends, but I'm not so much chasing after it. I just want to play the game, enjoy having fun. And I don't really need other people to do that. (Unless the multiplayer is better than the single player :P).

I suppose I look at all these other people and see how they amass a group of players around them and I wonder if I should be doing the same thing. Their friends lists are full. Whenever they turn a game on, there is someone to talk to. I am quite the opposite. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing it wrong. Other times, I don't really care to know.