New Year's: Enter 2017

The countdown has ended. The ball has dropped. All streamers and confetti have been flung. The new year has arrived. I feel like I was just sitting down and writing out my goals for 2016 not but a few weeks ago. The past year feels like a blur. So, I had to sit down and remember all of the things that I experienced over a span of 365 days.

It started with me having a job that completely terrified me. And I found out that I was very good at it. Within a few months, I even received a promotion. It started with me talking to someone who was a total stranger. And now I count them as one of my closest friends. It started with me discovering new things and implementing them in my day to day life. And I have learned and grown.

However, this year also had the pain of loss and having to say goodbye. But even there, I did not made the same mistakes I had made in the past. I said everything I wanted to say to them. Did everything I could think to do for them. And when I got the news that they had passed away, I had no feeling of regret nagging at me, reminding me of all the missed opportunities not taken. Though I am sad that my friend is gone, I am happy that I did not make the same mistake of leaving things undone between the two of us. All of my memories are happy ones.

The sun has set on the old and rises on the new. So what does that mean for me as 2017 begins.

Goal Setting

I make large goals for myself, but I think it is very important that I have some small goals to celebrate in between. At the end of every month, I want to make small goals for myself to boost my motivation to move towards the larger ones.

Reading

I was quite the avid book worm growing up. Always a novel of some kind on my person at all times. But as my life got busier and course work intensified, I walked away from that hobby. Now I want to go back to it. Even if it just a few pages before bed, it is much better than reading nothing at all.

Remove Restraints

There are a number of things I don't do because I tell myself I can't. I make up all these reasons and rationalizations for why I can't do something, but for the most part they are excuses. And I make them up because I'm scared. Scared of something new, scared of being judged, scared that I will fail, scared that others won't like it. But I can't live like that, always in fear that if I do something it won't work. So, it is time to remove restraints.

Learning a Foreign Language

I went though so many years of Spanish and right now I could not hold a conversation beyond telling you my name, my country of origin, directions to the bathroom, and ordering steak, potatoes and a salad. So, I told myself that I was going to get back to being serious about being a fluent Spanish speaker. So why not start right now.

Being Financially Savvy

Something that very few people know about me, I used to be pretty involved in the stock market a while back. However, like most of my hobbies, it was crowded out when I felt like I had no time for anything outside of studying. But now I'm ready to get back in the game. And not just stocks, learning anything and everything I can about being a good steward over my money. Making my money work for me instead of the other way around. And finding ways to spend smart and save well.

Keep Creating/ Stay Centered

These are the same goals as last year. They are simply good to keep around. Because they are something I need to remember and do always.

Some will say this past year was tragic and will remember all the bad things that happened. But, I won't be one of those people. I spent holidays with my family, went to conventions with my friends, wrote a novel, watched as long awaited dreams came true for people who truly deserved them, celebrated the 20th anniversary of a program that changed my life in ways that no one could possibly understand. No, I will not be one of those people. And I hope that if you search deep enough, you will see that you aren't one of them either.

So here's to 2017. May we all do bigger and better things over the next 365 days.

New Year's: Starting the Next Chapter

 A new year has rolled around and I will confess, it has caught me off guard this time around. Usually one has a list of resolutions and/or goals ready, waiting for that first day of the new year to roll around to execute them. I have not made one. Not technically anyway.

First, I want to go over the past year and remember the journey I just finished. A huge chapter in my life closed this year. Something that I had been working long and hard on for years is finally finished and over with. No longer in limbo, no longer waiting. Everything is over and done and my career path can continue. Now, I am continuing on into something new, in a new place, with new faces. I have a lot of excitement for what is coming next, wrapped with a small tinge of apprehension. But that is what happens whenever you embark something new, right?

I had ups and downs this year, sure, but things ended rather brilliantly. I got a chance to interact with people who helped me to unlock the best side of myself. I got a chance to make new friends and reunite with old ones. And my want to be an overwhelming force for good could not have been more bolstered than it was this year.

So what do I want for this new year? What are the goals I am setting up for myself as 2016 gets under way? 

Keeping Creating

I want to write and sketch more this year. And make more YouTube videos as well. These are things that I want to do well and the only way to get better is to keep doing them on a consistent basis.

Stay Centered

Life tends to get hectic and priorities get out of sort. You aren't taking care of your body, your mind, your soul, your relationships, your responsibilities, etc. This past year, I started doing something about it. Always being mindful to make sure that my priorities were what they should be and where they should be.

Be Overwhelmingly Positive

It is so easy to fall in the trap of being negative, down and gloomy. It's easy to find the bad in situations and people, to point out all the failures and short comings. But that is no way to live life. At least not for me. However, I don't want to be positive just for myself, but to bring others in it with me. Because life is more fun that way.

So those are my goals for this year. I think it will be enough to keep me busy. How about you guys? What are you planning on doing for your 2016?

New Year's : The Goal

The obligatory New Year's post. It's an exercise that many are going to participate in. We are going to sit and survey the past 365 days of our lives and take inventory. Once that is done, we plot out a trajectory for the next 365 days in whatever direction we see fit.

I started skipping out on this entire ritual, giving a handful of reasons why I wasn't participating. Reasons I am pretty sure that you all have heard before. But this year, I'm reconsidering. I'm reconsidering because, sometimes, our minds hold onto the wrong memories that happened during the past year. And we do not give even weight to the good and the positive. So I am going to make myself remember the good, release the painful, and make plans to move forward down the path that I choose.

My year started with one of the greatest things happening to me, right after the ground had fallen from underneath my feet. And while I was pushing through some of the most challenging days I had ever experienced, I was forging bonds with some of the best and closest friends that I will ever have.

I found myself in a place and around people that I never thought could exist. I was in a bubble outside of the world, with like minded people who had similar stories to mine. We learned together. We studied together. We dreamed out loud and talked about how our worlds had fallen away from underneath our feet. But more than that, we were all slowly putting our dreams back together, with help and not judgement. 

 As cliche as it sounds, diamonds are made under pressure and gold is purified through fire. I am a different person than I was 365 days ago. Different way of thinking, different way of viewing people, different way of viewing the world and myself in it. And all for the better. This is my take from the inventory of the past year.

So what about plans for the future? I plan to simply keep heading down this path. To continue the journey that I started. It's a simple goal, but sometimes "keep moving forward" is what takes all the energy and focus you have. And that is what I want my focus to be on this year. Forward.

I have started working on projects that I have been planning and putting off. I have ended  things that no longer have any place in my life. I have found people who make me laugh and smile, challenge my way of thinking and pushed me to limits I didn't know I could reach. 

I have left people who could only show negativity. Left people who only knew how to take and never give. I became more accepting of myself and shirked the need to conform to any standard in order to be accepted. 

These are small steps along a path that stretches for a lifetime. I have no numbered list.  No sheet of paper with check boxes ready to be ticked. I have only one goal. To keep moving forward down this path of my choosing.

Well look at that. It's 2013

Well a new year is in full swing. I wish I could say that I made some resolutions or something along those lines. But I didn't. I am not quite sure why. Usually have some goal that I want to tackle. But this time, there was just nothing. I guess I am kind of tired of December 31st rolling around, I think of all the things I'm going to do differently and then it only lasts for a few weeks. By February, I'm right back where I was in December. Probably a very pessimistic way to look at resolutions, but it is what it is.

This New Year's Eve was the first one that I have spent with family in several years. While it was nice, it didn't feel complete. There is normally a ritual that my family does; something that was started spontaneously when I was really young. We watch NYE in Times Square on television and when the ball drops, we all drink a glass of ginger ale with cherries in it. Dad usually says some short prayer of thanks, we all say Amen and finish watching tv. This year, while I as finally able to be home, my sister couldn't be there. My parents don't have tv any more, so we had to watch the webcast version of the ball drop on a livestream. That was...different in a strange, quirky sort of way. My dad slept through the whole thing and only mom and I ended up drinking ginger ale together. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't slightly disappointed that we didn't keep tradition. I have no idea when I am going to be home for NYE again.

There is going to be a lot of changes that are going to be happening for me in a few months. I am not sure if my brain is processing it all or if it has decided that it wants to shut off and not think about it. In a few months, I have plans to go out of the country, attend my first PAX East, graduate from school (finally), and have my first legitimate job as a physician. I am going to try and take it all in, because I feel like if I blink, I am going to miss it.

Maybe that is why I was so chill when it come to ringing in the new year. I knew that life for me was about to make several changes in really big ways, so there was no reason to make any resolutions. The ball is already rolling.

The End of 2011

So another year is on it's way out. Feels like time just keeps flying. I can honestly say that 2011 has been quite the rollercoaster ride. It started with me at my worst and then slowly climbing up to one of the best days I have had in quite some time. I made friends with people that I never expected. I achieved the goal that I set out to do at the beginning of the year. And that was to finally take some of those projects I had set on the back burner and start doing them. Looking back, I feel like things have come about full circle and ended this year in a much better place than what I started it in.

I'm still not making an huge resolutions this year. I feel like just by doing that, I have already set myself up to fail. Instead, like last year, I have a list of goals. Goals that I have had for quite some time, just never made them priorities. I find that to be a simpler way for me to get things done. Some how whenever I add fanfare and pomp and declare to the world what I have set out to do, I fall short. However, when I just get up and do something, it's more likely to get done. *shrugs* I don't understand it either. I have just decided not to fight it. So let's get this done in 2012.

I do have to say that I got a lot of inspiration from a person who goes by the name EdeMonster, the Healthy Gamer. He has just about every social network available, so if you are reading this, then you should go and look him up. Anyway, he decided about a year ago that he was going to get himself in shape. And he has his before and after pictures. Honestly, it looks like two different people.It was quite impressive to look at. I think I am ready for that to be me. To wake up and decide, "yeah, let's get to this for real." because let's face it, I'm not going to ever have free time in my life ever again. Might as well figure out how to spin these plates the best I can.

If I am tired of the way something is, the only answer is to change whatever bugs me to what I want it to be. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that what I am purposing to do is going to be any small feat. That would be stupid of me. However, I know that simply standing still and wishing is just as daft. So my goal for 2012: To change. To continue what was started in 2011 and become more.

So how do I feel about 2011? I feel good. I crossed a good number of milestones, enough to be satisfied with and proud of. How do I feel about 2012? I've got things to do, things to accomplish, projects to finish. I'm ready to get it started.

The New Year is here!

So out with 2010 and in with 2011. I suppose this is the blog where I am supposed to reminisce on what happened during the past year and weed out what I learned. But I really don't think that is what I am going to do. To me it would feel false to write something like that, posing as some time of wise woman on her hilltop handing down sage council from the numerous experiences life has handed down to me.


Time passes, things happen, people learn from them and continue with life. It is that simple. Nothing magical, nothing mysterious, nothing special. Just an occurrence that happens to all of us, every day of our lives. So this year, I will dispense with the self reflection in lieu of something else.


Though just as cheaply thin and nonsensical as reflecting on a year past, I have decided to talk about what I plan for this up and coming year. I plan to be completely and wantonly selfish this year. I have watched as colleagues of mine have their lives unfold before them while it feels I am still in a holding pattern. Well I am done with that.


I am done walking down the path that leads to nothing, nothing and more nothing, being promised that somewhere at the end will be the rewards for the all the blood, sweat and tears that I continue to spill on a consistent basis. No, I fully intend to take a detour. For once let myself be distracted by things I have wanted to accomplish and have always told myself "I will do that later". Well later is now.


That is my goal. To do the things that I have put on hold, waiting for some undefined moment when my life would allow me to do them. And fuck everything else that decides it wants to get in my way.


Happy New Year.