Odd man out

I think it is time for a whiny blog, what do you think? Yeah, we are pretty overdue for one. I had a conversation with a friend the other day and I found myself falling into this mood. Here I am, an adult, and one of the main things that plague me constantly is the fact that I feel out of sync with just about everyone around me. As if everyone got the memo and mine got lost in the mail. This is what you are supposed to be into. Now go and be assimilated.

So what is it that I feel is wrong with me? I can't really put it into words. I think the issue lies in two areas: What I like and how people react to what I like. I feel I don't operate like a med student should. I feel like my passions should lie in something that is related to medicine. And while I do find some articles about the health field to be interesting, that's not what has my attention. Instead, my brain is always taken over by gaming, writing, art, and music. Sure, medicine is what I want to do with my life. There are no doubts about that. But there is not the same feeling about it as there is about these other things. Sometimes, I wonder what would my life be like if I had done something different. If I had decided that writing was my career instead of something science related. If I had taken art classes instead of taking two languages in high school. Would I be in a place where I feel like I belong? Would my interests line up with takes priority in my mind.

It's not that I'm ostracized. In fact, it is quite the opposite. People like me, oddities and all. But the moment I get asked the question "What is your favorite..." I know that the separating line is about to be drawn. I hate the looks I get after I open my mouth. As if I have all of the sudden become something very confusing. For example, on my birthday, some friends took me out for drinks. We were having a good time when it came out that I was a participant in NaNoWriMo and had actually finished a novel in a month. I was asked what it was about. I should have just said pirates and have been done with it. But no, I threw in other terms which I believed made the book unique and fun. I was looked at as if horns were starting to grow out of my skull. 'What was steampunk? I thought the setting would be in a real place. That's not the answer I expected."

I get tired of being the one that no one seems to understand. The one standing on the fringe of everyone else. Like them, but not like them at the same time. I know, it is the same lament of an angst-riddled teenager who believes that no one in world understands them. There are others who like what I like and don't find my interests the least bit strange. It is just that none of them are my classmates.