The Nightfall Saga: Secrets Revealed (Part 1)

The story beings with The Nightfall Saga: The House Gathers
And continues with The Nightfall Saga: Moving Pieces
 
The reason for the Gathering was now coming ever closer. The Testing was about to begin, made pretty evident by the ambient intensity increasing by the day. Cixi was not entirely sure testing meant, but the swell of  whispering clued her in to it's importance and shrouded secrecy. She asked once or twice before it began, but the only answer Cixi received was from her handmaidens. She was told not to worry about it. Lady Alara had made sure that Cixi would not be participating. Of course that didn't quell Cixi's curiosity in the least. If anything, her exclusion only added more fuel to her ever burning questions.
 
What Cixi could glean from the clandestine whispers, the five heads of House Ebonlynx gathered together in one of the many rooms in large estate and called for candidates to come and sit with them. Behind those closed doors, some sort of examination was administered. What it entailed, no one would say. How the test was passed, no one would say either. Not even so much as what the test was for. But, when the day came that the first name was called, everyone headed to those doors and made themselves comfortable outside of them.

Cixi watched the entire procession with everyone else. One person after another walked into that room and had the doors closed behind them. Time would pass, the doors would open again and they would walk out. A servant announce the results for everyone to hear, then he call the next name. Cixi was confused by the somber ceremony of it all, especially after all the lighthearted socializing that had gone on before. None of those who failed looked disappointed. Those who passed did not seem elated or joyous about their success. There was no discussion of it afterwards. Everyone talked about everything else except what was happening behind those doors. And no matter how many times Cixi inquired, even her own mother never expounded on what was going on.

Cixi had tried asking others, but her questions were met with less than warm answers. Her status among the House had changed slightly now that everyone had seen how protective Lord Jaias had been with this niece. The powder haired huntress was under the protection of one of the Heads of the Council. No one was to so much as look at her cross ways. And while this had saved her from the arrogant berating she had received when she first arrived, it could not save Cixi from this. Her inquiries about The Testing had been met smoldering stares and tight lips.    

Cixi was exempt from having the go through the Testing. That did not sit with anyone in House Ebonlynx. Especially since everyone knew it was because of her deserter mother, Lady Alara. If Cixi was to be accepted as an Ebonlynx, she should be at least be considered as a candidate as well. Cixi should get no favoritism, especially being the granddaughter of a former Head and the niece of the new one.  And while no one breathed a word of it, the air was thick with dislike for Cixi and her the outcast mother.And now, Cixi didn't even have Lord Jaias to talk to.

Times like these, Cixi wished that she was back at home, hunting, with her actual family. There was none of this smiling in your face and then ripping you to shreds the moment you were out of the room. Cixi wondered how much longer she was going to have to tolerate all of this. How much longer she would be able to tolerate this. Little did she know, it would not be long at all. Thanks to a relative whose name Cixi never knew, the days of her stay were to be abruptly truncated.


Story continues: Secrets Revealed (Part 2)

Birthday Beauty Box

My sister spoils me :D

I had my birthday a while back and I got a really awesome gift from my sister. I will call it my beauty box. I haven't used everything just yet, but I have fallen in love with everything that I have used so far.

Face and hair products

My sister is letting her hair go natural just like I am. She sent me a shampoo and conditioner combination that she liked by Aunt Jackie's. It smelled really nice, so I decided why not. I absolutely adore this stuff now. It makes my hair feel really soft and smooth. I didn't think anything would make me walk away from Organix, but this stuff is a keeper.

Next is a green tea facial cleanser, moisturizer, and toner that I believe comes from The Face Shop. I have only been using the toner right now, because I had just opened my Olay products. However, I had no toner to speak of, so this came right on time. Very simple add in to the daily facial cleaning regime.

The volcanic clay...I like it because it has a nifty name. It is solely for cleaning the pores on your nose, like a Biore strip. It is pretty quick and simple. Put it on your nose, let it dry and then peel it off.

Face masks!!

The shampoo and conditioner were my favorite products so far, but these are a close second. I love face masks, especially these. The serum from these things makes my skin feel so much more hydrated and refreshed. Plus there is usually enough left over in the packet to rub on my neck and shoulders.I was never much for face products before, but these have me hooked.

This last one was a gag gift that made it's way into my box. (Thanks, Frankie) I swore that I would never use used something that had the word 'placenta' in it. The name of it simply grosses me out. I mean, come on, have you guys ever seen an actual placenta? Not something want to be massaging into my hair follicles. Frankie knew this and when she saw this protein pack, she couldn't help herself.

So that was my beauty box. Not sure how I'm supposed to match this for Frankie's birthday. Maybe I will get her a bunch of video game related stuff.Maybe make her a personalized Lootcrate or something along those lines.

Daily Write - Equals

You were everything I had ever wanted to become. There was nothing else I wanted more than to stand on your pedestal. To stand on that same height our peers had placed you on and look into your eyes.

 I find it ironic now. The thing that drove my want to emulate you, become you, what sat you in spotlight and heraldry, was the one thing you despised. Despised so much you tore it out, ripped it up, and destroyed every part of it. 

 Now that you have turned your back on what made you great, are we finally equals?

Daily Write - Touch

We had practiced. We had prepared. We had anticipated all we could. There was nothing left for us to do now but try. So, here we were, standing in front of each other. In spite of all preparation we had put ourselves through, neither of us were completely ready for what we were about to undertake. 

I was scared. No, more than that. Scared does not give my feelings at that moment enough depth. I was terror stricken. He was too. You didn’t have to be like us to feel our anxiety. It was an unseen fog, sucking all the air out of the room, threatening to choke the two of us. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he reassured me, using that gentle tone of his, “-I- am going to be okay.” 

He could hear my fear. Probably clanging as loud as warning bells. I was already pushing my thoughts into his mind. That was my worst fear, the thing concerning me the most; losing control and hurting him. 

“We don’t have to do this,” I whispered. I wanted to give him a way out. Give me a way out, “We can just label this a bad idea and forget about it. We can simply walk away.” 

“No.” 

His rejection was so simple. So final. So quiet. I felt him calmly pushing back. Pushing down my anxiety, like a cooling breeze running over my skin on a muggy summer day. He had become stronger and he showed me to quell my worry. I took several deep breaths and focused, folding the anxiety in my chest smaller and smaller until it was too small to feel. 

“Settled?” 

“Yes.” 

I could not watch him remove his gloves from those long, spindly fingers of his. Instead, I focused on my own. Nothing more than thin, white, pieces of fabric, they fashioned a barrier that shielded my sanity from drowning in the noise. Removing them was cutting loose my anchor and setting myself adrift in that noise. I could hear the echo of his breathing the same way one sees ripples on a lake. He was unsettled and uncertain. More than I was. Of course he was. The risk he was taking eclipsed my own and no one could know that more than him. I had to focus. 

We both took a step closer to each other. I could not look at him. Not yet. I had to breathe. I had to focus. However, I struggled. My heart hammered against my chest with such force. It only got stronger with every step. I thought at any moment it would break through and burst in front of me. 

“This is harder than I thought it would be.” I breathed.  
“Actually, you surprise me. You are quite calm.” 

His heart beat. I felt it like it was my own, thrumming in my head like a quivering drum. The process was already beginning. I had not noticed until he spoke. We were just within reach of each other, however he seemed so much closer than that. The fog tightened around us, dense, heavy and charged. It was seeping into my pores. He reached his hand towards me, slowly. 

“You’re shaking.” 

My own voice sounded foreign to me. I was losing the ability to recognize myself. 

“I know.” 

I held my hand out towards his. I could taste the fear building in the back of my throat, but I promised myself I would not hurt him. I just kept repeating that I had to focus, visualizing the fear as nothing more than liquid draining out of me and into the floor beneath my feet. I could feel the fog around us, clinging to my skin. It was a brewing storm about to swallow the two of us. I saw our fingers, his and mine, nothing separating them but a breath. And yet to me, it might as well have been a canyon. A canyon that I had to jump across.

 “I trust you.” 

His quiet finality. 

“Wait! No!” 

But it was too late to pull away. He clasped my hand in his. The burning jolt that followed seared into my flesh, bore into my stomach, ripped through my chest. I couldn’t breathe. My skull felt like it had been set ablaze inside a crushing vice. My entire body threatened to explode into ash and melt into nothing. I wanted to resist, to scream, to pull away and run. Instead, I forced myself to endure it all and look. Forced myself to pull my head up and stare into his eyes. His body seized like a leaf twisting in the wind. His face was pinched in agonizing pain. But, he too searched for my eyes. We found each other and in that moment I thought I had fell. But soon realized it was not falling. I was melting, disappearing, being absorbed into those eyes. 

I no longer saw him. No longer spoke to him. I felt him. I simply felt him. We were nothing more than two existences, two thoughts, two energies swirling in the presence of each other. We knew nothing and yet we knew everything. We were new and carefree. We were old and satiated with our lives as they had been. We ran, we flowed, we flew, we slipped farther and farther away into that vast expanse. This space of nothing occupied only by the pure essence of us. Never had I felt so close to someone. So together. We were two objects occupying the same space. 

Time passed. How much, I am not sure. I walked and remembered I had legs. Remembered I was made of muscle and bone. I felt that weight pulling me back into reality. I was slowly rising back to the surface, feeling my own skin, hearing myself breathe, feeling the beat of my heart in my chest. My mind was drifting, failing to latch onto anything concrete. I tried moving my body, but my limbs would not respond.. 

I could still feel him in my mind as I lied there, motionless. He was mist clinging to high mountain cliffs. I felt his smile and heard his gentleness echo in my head. 

“You are butterflies.”

Let's Talk...

Let's talk about failure. I know, ugly word. A word that has ended many a dream for many a person. It's not the failure that breaks most people. It is everything that comes after; this package of malevolent feelings. The shame of it, the depression, the feeling of being sub-par and inadequate. You drown in those feelings, suffocating. And you just sit and watch as your dream is snatched away and crushed. Or do you?

I'm not going to jump on a soapbox and tell you to learn from your mistakes (though that is a good idea). I'm not going to spout out a bunch of inspiring quotes that have found their way onto posters, bumpers stickers and passed around on Facebook status updates. Instead, I'm going to tell you that I understand.

I understand failure and the package that comes with it. Wanting to hide, wondering why it happened to you, feeling beyond alone. Because, how could anyone possibly fathom what is like to have a hole blown in your world so big that it shatters everything in it? I get it. I get you.


I understand failure. It aches like nothing I have ever felt. I was mired down in this dark mental pit with nothing but my horrible, berating thoughts and bitter tears as company. But, I could not stay there. I could not die there. I could not drown, fade away and let this moment be the one that represented me, my life, myself as a whole.

Shutdown. Cry. Scream. Have the largest tantrum of your life. And when you are all done, don't roll over and die. Don't let this be your definition. Despite the tears, despite the pain, do not let this moment define who you are and who you will become.

Because that is what this is: a moment. A moment in a series of many you are going to have after this. Don't fade, don't give in, don't die. Not here. For now, breathe. Survive until this moment fades into the next.

Kitchen Adventures! - Shepherd's Pie

My mom found the recipe for Shepherd's Pie first. My sister was the second to have it and she added a few touches of her own. Then it found it's way to me. I have to say, something so simple should not be this good. I have a few recipes in my back pocket for those days when I need to cook  and have very little time to do it. Shepherd's Pie is one of them. And it is a God send.

The ingredients are pretty simple: ground beef, peas and carrots (or whatever veggies tickle your fancy), cream of celery soup (or cream of mushroom if that is your thing), and some mashed potatoes. Now, my mom is all about the homestyle way of doing things. She makes this dish with fresh vegetables, right down to chopping the carrots and boiling the potatoes. I admit, that is probably the healthiest way to do. But I take as many shortcuts as much as I can. I tend to buy my veggies frozen when they go on sale. (C'mon $1 for a bag of frozen veggies?! How do you pass that up?) And use potato flakes to speed up the mashed potato process. What can I say, I'm addicted to the "dump and go" method of cooking.

You can switch out the ground beef and use ground turkey. I find that ground turkey is a decent substitute in a few of the dishes that I have made. Ground turkey has a lighter flavor and the consistency is slightly different, but that is it. There is even a vegetarian "ground beef" made by Morning Star. I personally have never used it in Shepherd's Pie, but I used it to make chili. Again, different texture, but the taste was fine.

So, after you have cooked all your ingredients on the stove, you put them in a casserole dish and slide it into the oven. Then you are finished. Like I said, quick and easy. And it will taste like you spent forever on it. What do you guys fix when you are pressed for time?

Rings, Rings, Rings!

I am not sure when I started liking jewelry that was different from what my peers were wearing. If I had to take guess, I would say it started when I was a teenager. Probably around the time I was painting my nails wild colors and trying to figure out an argument that would convince my parents how awesome a tongue ring was.

 

 I remember wanting something more interesting than your normal, cutesy pieces. My mother and I had quite the back and forth over my high school ring. She wanted me to get something feminine. I wanted a huge hulking guy's ring. In college, I was all about the finger armor (though I never bought any). I believe very little has changed about my tastes since then.

  
I have  a few interesting rings. Above is a picture of some of my favorites. Each one of these have some story behind them. For instance, the black ring with the floral pattern was a gift from my sister. It is one of the first in my "unique" ring collection. The Batman ring was a gift to myself for some feat of academia I accomplished. It is a sterling silver Batarang spinner ring. I eyeballed that ring for weeks before finally purchasing it.



 

I like rings like these because they make you take a second look. When I wear them, I feel like I'm making a statement without having to expend a lot of effort or money. Most of my rings I simply happen upon when I am shopping for something else. Except my Batman ring, that one I searched out on purpose. I was going through a Dark Knight phase.





Do you wear jewelry that is more on the "unique" side? Any specific jewelry pieces that are your favorite? I think the only jewelry that is more expressive than my rings are my earrings. But that is a post for another time.