Let's Talk...

Let's talk about failure. I know, ugly word. A word that has ended many a dream for many a person. It's not the failure that breaks most people. It is everything that comes after; this package of malevolent feelings. The shame of it, the depression, the feeling of being sub-par and inadequate. You drown in those feelings, suffocating. And you just sit and watch as your dream is snatched away and crushed. Or do you?

I'm not going to jump on a soapbox and tell you to learn from your mistakes (though that is a good idea). I'm not going to spout out a bunch of inspiring quotes that have found their way onto posters, bumpers stickers and passed around on Facebook status updates. Instead, I'm going to tell you that I understand.

I understand failure and the package that comes with it. Wanting to hide, wondering why it happened to you, feeling beyond alone. Because, how could anyone possibly fathom what is like to have a hole blown in your world so big that it shatters everything in it? I get it. I get you.


I understand failure. It aches like nothing I have ever felt. I was mired down in this dark mental pit with nothing but my horrible, berating thoughts and bitter tears as company. But, I could not stay there. I could not die there. I could not drown, fade away and let this moment be the one that represented me, my life, myself as a whole.

Shutdown. Cry. Scream. Have the largest tantrum of your life. And when you are all done, don't roll over and die. Don't let this be your definition. Despite the tears, despite the pain, do not let this moment define who you are and who you will become.

Because that is what this is: a moment. A moment in a series of many you are going to have after this. Don't fade, don't give in, don't die. Not here. For now, breathe. Survive until this moment fades into the next.