It's one of those nights were I should be sleeping, but just can't seem to get there. So no time better than present to ramble on about nothing.
I'm standing right on the cusp of when my life is going to start amping up and getting insane. Seems to be quite familiar territory. Just a new brand of insanity, that's all. There are just so many things that I have to get organized and in line in order to start my LAST YEAR OF SCHOOL!!! I can't believe that I can finally say those words out loud. Man, it has been a long time in coming. I am so ready to be through.
However, these things aren't what is on the forefront of my mind. Seems like it never is. I always have my head in the clouds, thinking of other things to do that has nothing to do with my career goals at all. I have started working seriously on a script. I started piecing things together back in January. Small things mostly, like characters and world building. I drafted out the first two story arcs, just to see if this was something that would produce any stories of worth. I found out that there was something there, I just had to dig a little deeper. Recently, I have started putting together an actual script. (Just coincidence that I started during ScriptFrenzy). I wish that I could hammer out the writing at a faster pace. But that is always my wish. Right now, I just don't have to time. Well, I do, I just haven't managed my time well enough to have the time that I want.
Also, I have come to a halt where my art is concerned as well. Same problem. The time issue. Also, there are things I want to draw, but get so frustrated when I find it difficult to do. And there are points were I don't even start. I have no idea how the picture is supposed to work, so I don't even put the pencil on the paper to save myself the frustration of not being able to draw what I want. I know the only way to get better is to draw more. But I just get so upset when I can't reach the expectations that I have set for myself in my head. And my expectations just keep getting higher and higher. I am just never satisfied with any of my work any more.
And if writing and drawing weren't enough, I picked up yet something else that is time consuming. I haven't started yet, so I'm not going to go through all details. But I'm paralyzed to start. It's the whole "I have no idea how this is going to work out. What if it sucks? What if no one likes it? What if I'm terrible at this?". All the doubts rolling around in my mind for several weeks now. My sister has been pretty instrumental in trying to break down some of that. I will probably wait for the summer time before I decide on what my next steps are going to be concerning this.
So I know what a few of you are asking. Desy, where is your writing? Did you used to do a monthly article? Well, Click Here for Comics has been put on hiatus for an indefinite amount of time. While I loved nothing more than writing that article, I just didn't have the time to do it any more. And after writing it for a year, I got a bit of burnout. Will Click ever come back? I'm not going to say no, but I don't see it happening in the near future. Am I going to do another article instead? I have been toying around with the idea of one. I have playing around with some different formats and things like that. But again, time is a huge issue. Hopefully by summer time, I can be a bit more freed up and then go from there.
Just remember desy, that its only with determination and perseverance that we improve at things. You sometimes have to do a hundred failed pieces of art and writing for that one "gem" to finally come to the surface of your mind and creep out onto canvas or paper.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am sure your new hobby will turn out alright. You have a knack for pouring your effort into something until it shines with beauty, and I am sure this will turn out just as well too.
Don't forget to let me know when you think your script is ready for someone else to read, ill be here ^_^.