It burns. This once unnoticed ember that grew into an all consuming flame while my eyes were closed. This subconscious spark that was awakened in the recesses of my brain that I tried my best to ignore. It burns and it rages, beating against every defense I have put up around it. Despite everything I have done, it only grows larger, hotter, brighter. Pushing and pushing with fingers I cannot run from.
I don't want to fight it any more, I want to give in. I want to let go and let it have me. Even though it threatens to turn my very essence into ash and my soul to soot, I want to be consumed by it. No more suppressing, no more pushing it down, no more white knuckled grip on logical sanity and calm. I want to burn. I want to break, erupt, explode, destroy. I want everything to crumble and splinter.
And when nothing is left of me but ash and embers, I want to be left alone.
